Walk of Grief

WALKING WITH GOD. No.26

2 Sam 18:33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you–O Absalom, my son, my son!”

There is so much that could be said about this episode in history but we will limit ourselves here to the expression of grief that we observe in this verse, and what caused it. Grief is that emotional response when we have lost a loved one. What is strange about it here, is that the grief David is expressing, is for the loss of his son who has been hunting him and trying to kill him! Let’s get the bigger picture.

Yesterday we saw Nathan rebuke David for his activity with Bathsheba. Part of that rebuke declared, “Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own….: `Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you” (2 Sam 12:10,11). In other words discipline will come upon David because of what he has done, discipline in the form of a similar thing happening to him. In chapter 13 we see Amnon taking Tamar and subsequently being killed by Absalom – and they are all David’s children. Absalom was exiled but eventually allowed back, but David refused to see him (Chapter 14). Absalom then conspired for the crown and David and his closest men had to flee Jerusalem (Chapter 15) when Absalom turned the nation against David. David eventually fled across the Jordan and settled in the town of Mahanaim (2 Sam 17:27) to the east. Absalom and his troops eventually follow and Absalom is killed in a battle with some of David’s men. When the news is brought to David in Mahanaim, he weeps. He leaves the messenger and, weeping, he walks up to his room over the gateway to the city. It is a walk of grief.

Of course his people don’t know how to cope with this. They are overjoyed that Absalom is dead and the threat to David has been removed, but the word gets out that David is weeping about it. The troops returned in silence (19:2) instead of victory shouts and their general, Joab, is livid with anger and confronts David (19:5-7). David returns and takes his place where he should be, accessible to his men, but why did David respond like that?

To answer that we have to go even further back. David you may remember was described as a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam 13:14) and we find in Scripture, “For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD.” (Ezek 18:32). God does not rejoice when sinners die. Yes, it is right that they die if they refuse His grace and mercy, but it is not a thing for rejoicing. To see this more fully, look earlier in David’s experiences as a leader when Saul had been pursuing him and was killed in battle. When the news of Saul’s death is brought to David we find this same grieving (2 Sam 1:11,12). In his lament that followed, David only remembered the good about them: “How the mighty have fallen!” (2 Sam 1:19,25,27). David anguished over what could have been. In this Fallen World there is always that anguish – if only… what could have been!

David feels as God feels and thus he shines out of the pages of Scripture on occasion (there are bad times as well!) as an example. Yes, he has every reason to rejoice over the death of one who was hunting him down, trying to kill him, but that one was his son. It was a tragedy the way it had all happened, and David would remember Nathan’s words to him – it was because of his own sin that this all occurred. Did God make it happen? No He simply stepped back and let the unrestrained desire of Amnon have its way while David was so little involved with his children that he knew nothing of what was going on. Then the Lord stepped back and let the unrestrained anger of Absalom bring judgement on Amnon, and so it went on, unrestrained, undisciplined desires, just like David’s had been with Bathsheba, all working to bring this discipline to David. At the end of it he weeps. He knows he has contributed to this outcome. He grieves.

When such similar circumstances, effects of the Fall, are encountered by us, do we understand the tragedy of them, do we weep? Do we walk the walk of grief as we share in the Lord’s anguish as we observe the effects of sin, and ponder what could have been instead? How deep is our understanding of this terrible thing called Sin?