5. Mary Considers

5. Mary Considers

(Warning: In this little series of ‘meditations’ there are simply wonderings about what actually some of the people in the Christmas story felt. They are obviously based on Scripture but they are only wonderings, for we do not know. Yet, if they help us really think into the wonder of what happened two thousand years ago at the time we call Christmas, that will be good.)

I am a mother! I really am a mother! It’s strange, I knew I was pregnant, there was no doubt about it, but somehow I almost didn’t believe it until he arrived last night, and now here I am, a mother! And I have a son!

And here we are, the three of us. Three of us! We’re a family! Me, my Joseph and now our baby, Jesus.

I almost feel that I have been living in a dream this past year. Did the angel Gabriel really come to me? Oh yes, it was so real, so vivid, I’ll remember it until the day I die. I’ll never forget his words to me. Initially he scared me for I wondered why God should send an angel to me, a twelve year old girl. What had I done? Was he about to tell me off? But no, it had been exactly the opposite for he said I had found favour with God. I remember being taught in synagogue about Noah, and he had found favour with God. I wasn’t sure that ‘finding favour with God’ was a good thing, but when he told me I would have a special baby I was overjoyed. And yet I wasn’t yet married so how could such a thing be? That’s when he told me it would because God would enable it to happen. How could such a thing happen? I had never heard of it happening to any other girl. Was this just a dream, a silly dream? But no, it was so real and I was wide awake. And then I started feeling sick and I realised it had happened, I was expecting a baby.

After the initial shock, Joseph was wonderful – with a little help from God, he told me.

Then I had gone to Elizabeth and stayed with her until she had her baby.  That was an amazing time as well. It was clear that I was not the only one who had had dealings with God. But it was still all very dreamlike.

The reality hit when I returned home and tongues were wagging when they saw me, for it was quite clear what my condition was. I knew why, but few others would believe it when I told them.

Then came the orders from the Romans to go to the town of your family and so Joseph had to come here to Bethlehem to be counted like sheep. Then we ended up in this stable and my Jesus was born. Why does that expression ‘a little lamb’ stay with me? How very appropriate that a lamb was born in a stable. But he’s not a lamb, he’s going to be a leader, a ruler, the angel said.

Oh dear, what is the future going to hold for us? How are we going to live? I assume Joseph will carry on his father’s carpentry business and we would expect Jesus to follow in his father’s footsteps, so I don’t know where all this stuff about him being a ruler comes in. Carpenters aren’t rulers.

I don’t know how long we’re going to have to stay here for the census. I don’t know what we do about that. I suppose there must be a census house somewhere here in Bethlehem that we’ll have to go to and be registered.

It’s convenient that we’re near Jerusalem though. We’ll be able to go and make an offering for our little one as the Law requires, before we return home.

Yes, it all seems a bit dreamlike, but those men turning up last night were very real. I couldn’t get to sleep for some time after they left, wondering about all they said. More angels? Angels telling them to come and see my Jesus? There’s more in all this than we realise. What is the future going to hold for us? What will it hold for my son? I really don’t know and yet one thing seems very clear: with all of these angels appearing – to Zechariah, to me, to Joseph, and now to the shepherds – it seems like God is closer than we’ve ever known before. Somehow it feels like He’s really with us.

Reading for today’s story: Luke 2:19

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