Aspiring Meditations: 9. Aspiring to Brotherly Kindness
Rom 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.
2 Pet 1:7 make every effort to add to… godliness, brotherly kindness
1 Thess 4:9 Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.
Now even as I said previously that I find there are some of these characteristics that come more clearly into perspective, I think there are some that seem less significant, but that is a mistake. For instance there are at least three words used in the original Greek for love: Agape, Philadelphia and Eros. Eros doesn’t appear in the New Testament text, it refers to physical love expressions. Agape is the main word that we’ll consider more fully in the next study. It is the one in the middle, Philadelphia, that we have before us now and it doesn’t appear that many times in the New Testament, a word that seems to speak of a love of lesser importance. I say that because much is made of agape and when Jesus instructed his disciples to “love one another” (Jn 13:34) we might wonder why ever employ a lesser word or even have his servants instruct, “Keep on loving each other as brothers.” (Heb 13:1)
Well, a dictionary definition of Philadelphia is ‘Warmhearted affection toward all in the family of faith.” We might say, ‘think well, speak well and act well towards the family of God.’ Trying to tie down ‘love’ or even this ‘brotherly affection’ is not easy. I came across a heavy-handed discipling program recently that used questions to prod on believers to growth and one question asked, “Do you love everyone in your community?” I’m afraid I responded, “That is a meaningless question,” but then I did add, “unless you can express it in specifics.” We are told to love our neighbour by the Lord and we know He loves everyone because He is love.
But what does that mean? It means He thinks and feels well towards all people, some might say, but actually love is expressed in a whole variety of ways. A father may express it with a child as he watches them from a distance, by the smile that appears on his face that expresses something of what he is thinking and feeling as he watches. It is love. But then he may sit with the child and read with them or listen to them. Some times he will say ‘No’ to the child as he brings correction or direction, and at other times he may bring discipline to impose a sense of seriousness over some misdemeanor. All of these are different expressions of love. There can be great differences in the expression of love. There can be the giving of a present at a birthday, which is simple and straight forward, or there can be the mother who pushes her child off the road infront of an oncoming speeding lorry, and who is killed.
The sacrificial love (agape) of Jesus that took him to the Cross is certainly different from ‘warmhearted affection’ but sometimes that ‘warm hearted affection toward all in the family of faith’, can seem for the moment equally hard. The trouble is people are not perfect, none of us are, but so often we expect the people of God to be. When the minister/pastor/vicar produces a rubbish, boring sermon, it is difficult not to be negative. When some of the old ladies seem more concerned about the flower rota than seeing people saved, it is difficult to feel charitable. When long haired, tattooed young people turn up in your nice respectable church, it is difficult not to be defensive, even when you find they out are outrageous evangelists. When someone doesn’t care about scripture / comes out with wrong understandings of scripture / brings heresy, it is difficult to be graceful in the face of their less-than-perfect expressions of church life.
The world would be so much easier without people, it seems sometimes. But then other people probably think that about us as well. I know I haven’t always found words of grace to drop into a difficult situation and so I have needed the love, grace and forgiveness of others at times, those things that put content to that description, “warm hearted affection”. Tell me, how do you react when someone really lets loose and blows it, and speaks out in anger, frustration and hostility? I saw that once and those around drew back like Pharisees withdrawing from Jesus, into a critical, gossiping huddle. Instead it needed someone to put an arm of love around them and say, “Come and sit down. What is going on here old friend?” How easily that “warm hearted affection” flees out the door! How easy it is to become a Pharisee and look down our spiritual noses at others who are not handling life as well as we are!!!
Oh yes, we’ll need God’s grace to actually have that “warm hearted affection” when people are being people. It doesn’t matter that they are believers, that seems to make it worse. If we can get God’s grace, why can’t they? I think one of the most poignant stories I’ve heard was of the man who stepped into an almost empty carriage on the Underground, accompanied by his two noisy and boisterous children. As the train rattled along through the tunnels, another nearby occupant struggled not to spit out, “Why don’t you control your noisy children. Get them under control!” but didn’t. When the train came to the stop where the man and his children was alighting, he turned to the other occupant whose face clearly showed what he thought and said, “I’m sorry I’m a bit distracted and let my little ones upset the peace. We’ve just come from the hospital where their mother is, and I’ve just been told my wife has probably only got about three days to live. I’m sorry,” and then they stepped off the train. The occupant suddenly felt different.
I’m told there is an old native-American saying (we used to call them Indians): “Never criticize another until you have walked in their moccasins.” We don’t know what is going on in one another’s lives in church. Yes, the grace of God is there for us all, but it’s not always easy to appropriate it. Sometime we need the loving acceptance of our brothers and sisters and their gentle encouragement to make it through. That’s why I think there is this fairly rare reference to brotherly-kindness, this Philadelphia love, this “warmhearted affection toward all in the family of faith.” Yes, I need more of it. Yes, it is something I need to aspire to even more, for the sake of my local church, and for Jesus’ sake. May he find it in me.